i have been laying awake at night with endless thoughts swirling through my mind.

amongst those thoughts, i am writing lyrics. they are lyrics to songs that have no melody. atleast, not yet.
i sold my acoustic guitar at a pawn shop a few years ago because i needed the money. it was a sad day for me. i felt as if i was giving a part of my soul away. perhaps, in essence i did. for is not music SUCH a part of me that i cannot fathom a life without it?

that being said, i have decided to go back to said pawn shop and buy it back (of course, i am sure if wont be my same guitar i sold initially, but at this point any will do) i will pick from what is there, and hopefully, i will be able to bring back some part of that piece of soul i lost so many years ago.

i am very much yearning to put a melody to all these lyrics i have swirling around in my head. they need to be given life through the music.

maybe this is what i have been needing. music has always been a big part of self expression for me. i chose what music i listen to that day by the mood i may be in at that moment. i get lost in it for awhile. music is a sweet respite from so many things for me. listening to others music to suit my moods is definitely a great outlet for me, but to write your own...to extend my emotions out through my finger tips as they strum the strings on a guitar...to lift up my voice in a new melody...that...THAT is what is the greatest release. i can let out all the things i find so hard to say through words in the form of a melody.

if there is one thing i know without doubt it is this:

music is essential. a life without music would not be a life, but rather death. i cannot fathom it. nor do i want to.