It's the first time in my life when I feel that I'm not able to change anything. I am weak. I am helpless. I am hurt.

I can't do anything with my feelings. I don't want to feel anything. I don't want to think about anything. I'm just tired of sad thoughts and stupid feelings... Sometimes I want to cry... But I know I shouldn't. Why is everything like that??? Why does it still hurt? When is it going to change? I'm sick and tired to ask myself these questions.

I don't need senseless illusions. I don't want to suffer anymore. All I want now is to feel free and happy.